A Husband’s Insecurity :: From “10 Things Men Wish Their Wives Knew About Men”


Men are insecure? True or False??? I say true!

I think it’s something in the nature of all men. Even the bravest. We are all insecure. We all ask the question, “Am I man enough?” There’s something in us that drives us to find out. And we’re all just a little bit scared that we might be. This is where our pride comes from- just try it- everything that might set off a man’s pride can be traced back to the fact that it calls into question his manhood. It’s there.

And I believe that that insecurity was placed there from the beginning- well, at least since the fall of man. Because the truth is- men don’t have to live in insecurity their whole lives. I know because I have discovered this to be true for myself. A man really can choose to live in security- that he is enough, that he is qualified, that he is accepted. I have found that security in Jesus. He is one who tells me who and what I really am, and it’s from that place that I get to act.

Yet I still find a dichotomy here: I know that I am secure in him. But I still have flashes of insecurity. I still have to choose to know who I am- because almost everything else in the world would like to tell me different. And I suppose that’s the way its meant to be. It keeps me close to the cross, close to my true source.

Ok, enough about that- this is a blog about relationships : so let me bring it back.

Here’s the truth- there is only one that a man was ever meant to find his security in- Jesus. He will never be fulfilled by another- not by fellow man, by father, and certainly never by a woman, not even his wife.

But here’s the thing- a man’s wife has a special place : she can truly build him up and quiet all other voices of insecurity -or- she can be the loudest voice of insecurity in the world. It’s a strange and magnificient power that you women yield. And it’s a power given by the source of security.

And while it may seem that these two oppose one another- they don’t. After all- a marriage is supposed to be mirror image of a person’s relationship with Jesus- so if it’s Jesus that a man’s security comes from- then it makes sense that a wife can wield similar power…if she chooses.

Ladies- you should understand- you have two choices here- to be the voice of encouragement and bolster your husband’s security or to be the voice of insecurity and rejection and crush your man (yes- you have that power). There is no third choice- if you choose to disengage and try to be in the middle- you are choosing the latter.

Ladies- your acceptance is not just vocal- though it is that. It’s not just sex, though it is that as well. It’s not respect, though it is that too. It’s all encompassing. Give him great compliments, give him great sex, give him great respect and you will see your husband be spurred on to become the man he was always meant to be. Think about it- the key to your husband becoming who he was meant to be- who you really want him to be lies with you. Jesus could fully do it without you- but he chose to give you as a gift to your husband to speed it along. And I know, that seems like a tall order. That seems like a lot of weight on your shoulders. But it is your burden- or your joy- depending on how you look at it. Now that is your choice.

Men- You’re an insecure freak. Here’s the thing- your wife can be your best source of receiving security from Jesus. However, don’t forget, she is a broken and flawed creature just like you. She won’t always be a source for you. And while she can be a great source of security, never forget that it really is coming from Jesus, whereas she really is just a conduit. And if she’s not being the best source, or even a source of insecurity- you don’t have to let it get you. You can choose to remember that she is NOT your source of security, that it really comes from Jesus. (By the way, you were given as gift to your wife to help her become the one she was always meant to be and therefore the person you want her to be, but that’s another blog all together.)

So ladies- know the power you wield and the choice before you : and Choose well

So Men- know where your true security lies, and it’s not in your wife. Receive from Jesus through her what he wants to give you, however, never forget that comes from Jesus in the first place. He is where your security lies.

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  1. September 28th, 2012
  2. October 4th, 2012
  3. October 22nd, 2012

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