Posts Tagged ‘ marriage counseling ’

Are You For Your Wife?


Here’s a cool thought that is more than just a thought, it’s a truth.  It’s a thought that I think I most tend to forget in the midst of the day-to-day.  My spouse is always for me.  She really is.  She is always on my side.  No matter what.  For me, its easy to lose sight of.  Especially when I’m in the midst of thinking about myself and Penny isn’t fulfilling my every wanton desire, especially the ones that I never even tell her about.  That’s when I tend to get down and feel like she just isn’t paying attention to me.  That’s when I’m not at my best.  But the truth is, She is always for me.  She isn’t out to get me or make me suffer, in fact, quite the opposite.  She wants to see me thrive and enjoy life and our marriage.  These things I know.

So why then did it kinda take me off guard this week when I realized something else…I am always for her.  I’m not out to control her or have her bend to my every wanton desire.  I really am her number one fan.  I am her biggest (literally and figuratively) cheerleader.  When I see her in her sweet spot doing the things that fuel her, it swells my heart like nothing else.  My number 2 priority in life is dedicated to pleasing her and making her happy.

I know that may sound sappy and idealistic, but it’s really true of us.  It’s why I put so much energy and effort into planning our date nights and keep them secret so she can be surprised (which does on occasion backfire 🙂 ).  It’s why I’ll come in a clean the house and try to get done before she gets home.  It’s why I run errands for her.

And for those of faith, this should have all kinds of parallels.  Have you ever stopped to think the Jesus is for you.  He is your number one cheerleader.  That he loves to dote upon you, his bride.  i heard a pastor once say that God doesn’t really give a flyin’ rip about your happiness, but he does want you to be joyful.  I know where he was coming from, and while I may have agreed at the time, I think I have to retract that.  I think he does care a great deal about the happiness of his kids, of the Bride of Christ.  He loves to give us good gifts…why, because it makes us happy and he loves to make us happy.  It brings so much joy to his heart.  He really is cheering you on in the ball game you just played or in that serving role you get to put your hand to that you absolutely love doing.

Back to relationships.  I have a question for you.  Are you for your partner?  Married or dating…that person you sit across the dinner table from- are you 100% for that person?  When does it get hard?  When is it easy?  When do you know that your partner is for you?  When do you forget?  Leave a comment, let us know.

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Let Talk About ______!


So what’s his favorite tv show?

What’s her favorite meal?

What’s his favorite thing about you?  Do you really know?

What are those things in bed that she might be ok with, but you need to ask her first?

We all know the biggest thing that any couple needs to work on is communication, right?  So how are you doing with communication in your relationships?  Well, the folks over at oneextraordinarymarriage.com have come to help.  They have posted a communication and discussion guide from ThePureBed.com designed exclusively for couples.  It has surface level questions that are fun to know such as “What is your favorite color?” all the way to the most intimate of questions.  Nevertheless, all things that a married couple should be discussing.  Not that I’m a marital counselor, but I would suggest this to be used in pre-marital counseling.  It’s pretty specific and really will force clarity on intimate expectations heading into a marriage.

Some of the material could seem a bit awkward to talk about, but it’d be a night well spent.  Here’s what to do:

  • Click HERE to get the guide from ThePureBed.com
  • Print out two copies.  One for you and one for your spouse.  Be sure to have plenty of paper and ink, it’s 21 pages.
  • Talk with your spouse about wanting to know him/her better.  Make sure they are up for the process of going through a guide.  Present them with the questionnaire and set a date to be finished by.  I’d recommend planning to review the guide on a date night.
  • One the night you both agreed upon, exchange discussion guides and go through them section by section.   You get to keep your partner’s guide.

Here are a few tips: Go slow through the guide.  Ask for clarity on places that you’re not sure about.  Ask for specific examples.  Assume the best of your spouse.  You really are for each other.  It will be tempting to try to give a reason for why things are the way they are.  Agree ahead of time that neither of you will judge, argue, defend, or dismiss what your partner is saying.  Accept that, for them, its reality.  Remember, often what you intend and what he/she will perceive are two different things.  Ask yourself, which one has more of an impact on your relationship?

So who’s in?  Leave a comment and let us know.  When you’ve gone through the guide, be sure to come back and let us know how it went!  Share this with your friends.

Go for it!  You really can do this!